I am from Saudi Arabia, Alhumdulillah! Our country is Islamic and since I was ten, I always wore hijab. It was a part of me and I couldn’t have imagined my self without it! I’ve always heard about so called liberation of women and how Western women dress and what they think of hijab but it never affected me I knew this was all the tricks of Shaytaan.
I’ve always heard about some men wanting women to remove their hijabs and to mix with men and so called modernization but it still didn’t affect me at all I loved my hijab and I never mixed with the opposite gender..
I reached 30 years and I was still not married until one day a very very handsome and rich man knocked our door and asked my hand from my father! I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy that such a handsome man would marry me! He was 27 years old, 3 years younger than me. He talked to my father about how he prayed and was a practising Muslim and I wanted to marry him apart from the fact that he was handsome and practising, I was afraid I would miss the train of marriage and get old without having children…
We got married and we were very very happy! I had my first child a year after then my second child ,we were a happy family until one day my husband announced to me that we will move to Europe (France)!
I noticed how my husband from time to time talked about hijab and how it didn’t make someone pious and how it was backward.He said it in a joke but I got the hint. I didn’t want to go to Europe, I knew how they view niqab and hijab there, I was afraid but my husband insisted so I had no choice.
After few months, my husband was always bringing the hijab subject up, giving me examples of western women without hijab who changed the world such as Diana, the Russian woman who went to space etc. I didn’t see where he was going but refused to believe it.
Came our moving, we were in the plane from Saudi to Paris, and suddenly my husband took of my niqab and removed it from my face and took my Jilbaab and removed it from me! He said :”no more being backward!”..
I was petrified, I couldn’t move! I felt like a part of me was ripped off! Tears fell down my face but I couldn’t do anything. I remained in that state during the entire travel until we arrived to the airport of Charles De Gaulle.
I was afraid that my husband would divorce me so I forgot the saying of my Beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم :”There is no obedience to the creation in the disobidience of the Creator”!
I looked one more time at the plane were my hijab, part of me remained , with a broken heart watching it getting back to Saudi Arabia while I was heading toward the city of Paris
The weeks passed and we went from Paris to London, doing a whole tour of Europe with my husband and children until we decided to stay in London.I got used to the way of dressing of Western women until it came to the point that I wore jeans and tight dresses (may Allah forgive me) and the dunya tricked me until I fell in her love and forgot my love for Allah and where I came from.
I went shopping one day to the mall in London and while I was choosing some shirts, I looked to the right and stopped right there!
The shirt fell from my hand and I was shaking! I felt my legs almost giving up! I saw a woman covered from head to toe! Nothing was seen from her except her eyes!
I couldn’t move, I stared at her envying her strength until she felt me staring . She turned and looked at me and we locked eyes as if we were secretly sharing something, as If she understood what I felt.
My legs carried me toward her, me who gave up on my hijab, me who didn’t pray on time anymore! Me who forgot my religion ,and who I was . I said to her:”Asalamu alaykum” and she replied :”Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatu Allah” I asked her:” are you an Arab Muslim?” and she replied :”no I am a British women who reverted to Islam with my husband and children two years ago Alhamdulillah”..
I was shaking looking at this courageous woman wearing full veil and covering even her hands with gloves! This woman who didn’t care at all about the stares of people or what they said! A woman who chose Allah above everything! So I asked :”how come you dress like this here in London? “and her reply killed me.
She said:” Allah is everywhere whether in Saudi or London! I obeyed my Lord who asked me to cover myself in two Surahs (and she recited me the verses of hijab) and I live for Jannah not dunya! Why would I care what people say as long as my creator is pleased with me? Will they be with me in my grave? Will anyone be able to save me in hereafter? Will they stand with me before Allah on judgement day? I love my Allah and he gave me dignity and honor by hijab .I finally feel free and not like a piece of meat! I feel like a precious diamond safe from the eyes of men and I let people see of me only what I allow them to see. I am in control of my body”
She added :”O’ sister do not let this dunya trick you and do not let shaytaan win over you! This dunya is nothing but a temporary enjoyment and Jannah is eternal! Did you already give up on Jannah? Oh sister I hope that next time I see you, you will be wearing the dress of taqwa and of faith. The dress of our mother Ayesha and Khadeeja! The dress of Maryam ,the best of the women of the world”..
I was walking toward our house, looking at the ground feeling so empty! The world dark around me! Tears falling from my eyes! Not knowing who I am anymore! Angry at my self.
I sat on my bed staring at the ground , feeling sorry for my self! I realized how much I missed Allah and my hijab! I lost my identity and was reduced to just another brainwashed woman who despite living in the west and dressing in fashion, I was very unhappy! Who was I kidding? I lost my freedom and felt so exploited! I was jealous of this covered woman who reminded me what I gave up on!
My husband came home and I told him about the revert British.He laughed and said :”she is so backward!” so I got angry and my decision was made! I chose Allah and I said :”I want to go back to Saudi Arabia I don’t want to remain here a second!” and I added :”either we go back to our country and I wear my hijab or we divorce!”
I looked at the sky and smiled feeling at peace…
I walked in the streets of Saudi Arabia feeling so happy to wear my hijab again ,indeed Allah guided me back and now I finally feel happy!
Allah guided my husband also, Alhamdulillah, he got back to practicing Islam and we live a good family life, we are now home and fully practising our deen! Indeed Shaytaan is a clear enemy to us and it took me to live in the west to finally realize the importance of hijab and how I craved to wear it and how I felt safe with it.
I am a heart and a soul that’s what islam teaches me. Unlike the west that teaches you that a woman is nothing but a face and a body; if she fits the beauty standards she is good but if she doesn’t she is ugly and worth nothing!
_*That’s my story and that’s who I am Alhumdulillah.*_
*My dear sisters, do not let the modern society brainwash you! Do not let them take away from you your dignity and your crown! You are the daughter of Ayesha and of Khadeeja! You are the sister of Maryam and Fatima! You are a queen of Islam! Never forget that! Hold on to your hijab tightly and do not let the army of Shaytaan remove it from you.*